Abi Grace

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Past shows

  • Feral As Folk Listening Party

    This show was on Aug 30th, 2016 | 6 people watched
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  • Full Moon-ish Online Tea-party and Magic

    This show was on Feb 21st, 2016 | 5 people watched
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Bio

Anais Nin once famously said “ I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by loving”

This world is a crazy, messy, and beautiful place. When you’re connected to life, you can live it joyfully. You feel more in love with your lover, you laugh more easily, have more fun, and on your deathbed you don't feel like you've missed the best parts. The problem is... more

Anais Nin once famously said “ I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by loving”

This world is a crazy, messy, and beautiful place. When you’re connected to life, you can live it joyfully. You feel more in love with your lover, you laugh more easily, have more fun, and on your deathbed you don't feel like you've missed the best parts. The problem is that most of us are walking around completely unplugged from our vital selves. At some point we bought into this idea that we all had to keep our nose to the grindstone, and we ground the magic right out.

For me, “some point” came around my junior year of college. I decided that as an adult I would have to come up with some career that would actually allow me to make a living, and music would simply have to be a hobby. I hoped that some new, more practical interest would pop up in some bustling job market and I would be able to hop on the fast track to financial independence and security. For a few years, I even did ok. I got a passible entry level job after college, even in a terrible economy. I started paying off student loans, buying clothes I wanted to buy, and even went on a trip or two. Despite being more financially free then I had been pretty much my entire life, I was depressed. I knew that I was denying an important part of myself by trying to keep my music part time, so I did some research, wrote some songs, put out my first album and quit my job.

The first card of the Tarot Deck is the Fool, and I like to think it’s because naivety is a requirement at the beginning of all big adventures. Surely if you knew how hard it would be, you wouldn't go in the first place. At least, that was certainly true for me. On some level I thought that everything would fall into place. I would never have to work another day job ever, I would start being happy all the time, and I would meet the man of my dreams and live happily ever after. Instead, everything went to shit. All the worst case scenarios that I had been afraid of: not being able to pay rent, not being able to feed myself much less pay my bills, even getting kicked out of my house, it all happened. It wasn't glamorous and it wasn't fun and it wasn't at all like La Boheme or Rent, but even so I knew I could never quit again.

Why wolves howl isn't entirely understood, but one theory is that it’s a means to communicate over long distances and reconnect with the pack if a member becomes separated. The reason that humans make music is also not fully understood, but I like to think it’s for similar reasons: to assemble our packs and connect over the divides of emotional distances. I had taken a risk, and I had failed, and the only thing I knew how to do was write songs about it. They would strike me randomly, often in the car while I was driving to a sales gig in the middle of nowhere. I would sing little phrases over and over again until they were firmly lodged in my memory. I would write on anything I had available: napkins, scraps of receipts, and countless spiral bound notebooks. It was cheap therapy, a completely selfish way to out the pain and try to heal, but the more I sang about my own failure, the more people started to share theirs with me. I heard about squandered relationships, broken business ventures, bankruptcy, poverty, fear, anger, hurt, and underneath it all the desire to be seen and accepted as a flawed, struggling, growing person doing their best.

That is why I do what I do, why I started Fox and Phoenix Records and why I am passionate about writing meaningful music even if it doesn't make me a damn cent, because there are a million things we think we ought to be, but a good song reminds us that there is nothing so beautiful as being human.

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